Thursday, December 17, 2015

Choo's PSA: Merry Elfin' Christmas

This is another of Choo's famous public service announcements.  Or maybe it's the first one.  Ever.  I've had a lot of eggnog today, so it's really anyone's guess.  But this is something we need to talk about.

It seems a wandering band of elves has been going around ganging up on and bullying garden gnomes all over FarmVille county.  Now I know from the Hobbit movies that elves and dwarves don't get along too well, but I didn't know about the gnomes.

Anyway, it seems these friendly-looking elves are not as friendly as they appear.  They will surround and corner your garden gnome and intimidate him until he becomes very upset.  This is not nice behavior and must be stopped!

I am not sure how to handle this very serious problem, so please comment below and tell me your ideas.  No one ever comments on my blog.  C'mon now, blog readers!  You can't spare 5 or 10 seconds typing a thoughtful comment?  I promise I will publish it!  Post it anonymously if you want, I don't care.  So long as you don't mention my 1995 conviction for urinating on a mall Santa, I will publish your comment.  Give me a break, I was going through a difficult period in life and I was very inebriated.  I paid my debt to society, dammit, so back off!  Just tell me what to do about these evil elves, ok?

I'm pretty sure I saw one of them brandishing a switchblade. 

12/21/15 Update:
Thank you, farmer Janene for attempting to intercede on my garden gnome's behalf to rescue him from the malicious gang of elven bullies who've been mercilessly harassing him.  To no avail, unfortunately, but I do appreciate your concern!

Don't anyone else do this, please.  It is reckless, dangerous and wastes valuable visit energies that would be better spent speed-growing my 24-hour veggie crops.  You're aware there's a fiesta thingy going on right now, aren't you?  Sheesh.  I need over a million fiesta points to win those adorable animals.  Help a guy out!

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