Friday, February 28, 2014

The Yerba Incident

It was FV2 quest Tuesday, and as usual the quest was running late.

And as usual, I got bored and started a dumb thread on a random FV2 Facebook group.  I posted about the new crop "Yerba Mate," the real life existence of which was completely unknown to me up until having been just now introduced to it by a game about virtual farming.

I was previously unaware that Lynn Hubbard was Australian.

So, to indulge my curiosity and pass the time until the quest began, I Googled "Yerba Mate."

Apparently it was some kind of tea from the rainforest, I learned.  A drink which, according to this person is hailed as "The Drink of the Gods" by many indigenous groups of the lands in which Yerba Mate grows in abundance.

During my Yerba Mate Google journey I stumbled upon some fascinating pictures of Guayaki brand's canned Yerba Mate beverages.  They come in various flavors, such as "Revel Berry," "Lemon Elation" and the oh so cleverly named "Enlighten Mint."  Each can hailed its contents as a "Powerful Rainforest Experience."  This further piqued my interest about the mysterious product.

But what was most interesting to me about these containers of Yerba Mate were the pictures of the individuals on the side of the cans, each of who were apparently in the act of consuming the glorious beverage and reacting to its robust Yerba-ness. 

Their facial expressions both intrigued and haunted me.

Actually, not so much the woman on the can of Enlighten Mint, who just looked like she was trying to remember something.

But the faces of the men on the other two cans were quite compelling.  The looks on their faces are a bizarre mix of bliss and fear.  It was as if something simultaneously died and yet awakened inside them.  I just couldn't quite wrap my head around it. 

Then there was the way each of them clutched their cups of Yerba Mate, almost embracing them as if to say, "This Yerba is mine, I sold my soul to get it and you shall never take it away from me!"

"What is IN this stuff?"  I wondered.  Whatever it was, it clearly must be the most potent thing known to man.  I had to try some immediately!

Fortunately, Lynn Hubbard was an expert on this stuff, and she treated us to a whole paragraph of Yerba Mate information:

Unfortunately she failed to answer the most important question of all, so I had to ask her:

Aha!  I had my answer at last.  "There are herbs that people smoke!"  Of course!  That explains everything.  Yerba Mate is totally safe and healthy to smoke! Thanks Lynn!

I immediately went to work, planting, watering, fertilizing and harvesting some Yerba Mate crops.  I used my crop dryer to dry out the leaves, then rolled them up into a Yerba Mate cigarette.

Several days Later...