Tribute to FNS

This is my loving tribute to the FarmVillle Nutters Society, a now defunct Facebook group which arose like the proverbial phoenix from the proverbial ashes of the non-proverbial Lounge.

You may recall me blogging briefly about The Lounge in a May 23, 2014 blog post entitled Blog Neglect.  It was a pretty cool & casual little FV2 Facebook group until one day one of the admins, Monique Alexandra, was on the rag big-time having a really bad day and went into full-on bitch mode shared her feelings of discontentment with the group in a meaningful and thoughtful way, launching into a bizarre tirade and then burning the whole place to the ground because not enough people were paying attention to her.

Well it actually didn't happen as swiftly and dramatically as that colorful description makes it sound.  She made it more like a slow torture that lasted a week where she removed everyone's ability to post anything new, and all anyone could do there was read her pinned post about how she was permanently shutting down the group, and how it was all our fault for not clicking LIKE on a previous post she had made about something no one gave a crap about.  

It was pretty brutal.

So there we were, a bunch of homeless Loungers, when this guy from England who ironically can't speak a word of English (Chris Foxley) brought us all back together into a new group along with the help of a perennially sexy witch named Christie Smith.

I say perennially sexy witch because she wears her sexy witch Halloween costume year-round. 

Well I guess it's not really that sexy, but Christie thinks it is, so who am I to tell her different?  She's a witch, so it would be foolish of me to draw her ire.

So anyway, Christie and Foxley then make the delightfully fatal error of bringing me on board and making me one of the admins, because they knew I was kinda funny and could make graphics and stuff, but they probably didn't realize at the time that I am clinically insane.

This new group of Lounge refugees eventually came to be known as "The FarmVille Nutters Society."

I say "eventually" because the name of the group was undecided at first, and so it was put to a vote where everyone suggested and/or voted on various names for the new group we had all come together to create.

One of the group name candidates was "The Farmer's Arms," but after I made this graphic that name fell by the wayside for some reason I cannot fathom.

Maybe I take things a bit too literally at times.

Anyway, I don't remember the other suggested names, but I remember that they all pretty much sucked, and somehow the suckiest one, "FarmVille Nutters Society" ended up being voted in as the most popular.

Apparently, according to Urban Dictionary, "nutters" means "crazy people" in the UK.  So I guess, by virtue of our new name, we had fashioned ourselves as a bunch of crazy UK FV2 players, and so therefore and henceforth, the FarmVille Nutters Society we became.  This, despite the fact that Foxley was the only one from the UK, and no one else in the group could even figure out what the hell he was talking about most of the time because he spoke in this sort of illiterate drunken cockney slang.

Trying to understand what Foxley was talking about anytime he posted something was kind of like trying to decipher any line Mickey O'Neil spoke in the movie Snatch.

Yes, I know they're two different dialects or whatever, but you get my point.  They each had a knack for murdering the English language in their own special way.

Christie was the only one who spoke "Foxley" fluently, and so she would often serve as translator for the rest of us.

Now that our group had officially been named, as Mr. Graphic Admin I was put in charge of making the group's cover picture.  I made one, and then another, and then a few more.  I was never really satisfied with my works, and also I get bored quickly, so I just kept cranking out new ones every so often, trying out different pictures and different slogans and stuff.

These are them, in no particular order:

I really liked the insane looking guy.  Probably because he reminds me of me.  I think I found him in a YouTube video someone posted, and so I used him in several different cover pics.

During holidays, as Mr. Cover Graphic Admin Guy, I was charged with the task of adapting our cover graphic accordingly.  Based on the pictures I found on my hard drive, it would appear that I was only around for Halloween and Christmas, failing to make it to Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day or Easter.

Surprised I made it that far, actually.

That's Foxley's severed head there in our Halloween cover graphic.  We were all very fond of that one.  Actually, no.  Everyone hated it.

Major tensions arose during Christmas.  For some reason no one seemed to enjoy any of my yuletide offerings.  Four different Christmas covers I did, and they were all met with jeers.  Go figure!

Towards the end of December I came to the sobering and horrifying realization that once the holidays had passed I would have to return the cover graphics back to the usual ones.  But I was very bored with the tired old squirrel-based graphics and slogans about "nuts" which everyone loved so much.  I mean, there's only so far you can take that stupid gag before wanting to blow your brains out, ya know?  

I had to think up a new approach to the group's cover graphics.  I just couldn't stomach another bloody squirrel.

I was so fed up with squirrels in fact, that when someone posted a squirrel Christmas picture in the group, I was unable to resist the compulsion to deface it by changing the text inside the squirrel's little speech bubble thingy.  I think he was probably originally saying something cute and heartwarming, but I forget what it was exactly.  I just remember it making me sick, so I had to change it:

And so with the holidays finally behind us, and with me desperately wishing to avoid anything squirrel-based or nut-related, I decided that the only way I could accomplish this would be to subtly change the name of the group.

I guess I also wanted to see how many people I could piss off and/or drive insane by arbitrarily changing the name of the group to similar-sounding, but completely different names on a periodic and ongoing basis.  

Would anyone care?  

Would anyone even notice?

There was only one way to find out!

It would be like a science experiment, of sorts; in a mischievous impish sort of way.

So I began changing the group's cover graphic every few days to something new.  

Each glorious new cover graphic had its own little theme based on something that rhymed with the word "nutters."  It was a diabolically brilliant plan, or so I thought.

I had many different ones planned, but unfortunately I only lasted long enough to create and post these seven:

Upon posting the FarmVille Slutters Society cover, outrage erupted when at least one of the women in the group completely lost her mind, taking it as a personal attack and accusing me of calling her a slut.

And then she dramatically quit the group.

It was as if she had a guilty conscience about something in her past and somehow this cover graphic brought it all to the forefront and she just totally snapped and exploded into this magnificent drama bomb.  

That's pure speculation on my part, of course.  It's just what I remember thinking after it happened when I was trying to make sense of it.  I don't understand people generally, much less women, so my assumptions could be slightly off-base.

But to me, the incomprehensibility of this woman's reaction was only surpassed by its hilarity.  I guess it was a little sad too, but like, really, really funny.

I mean if you're like doing crazy shit and hoping for a reaction, and you suddenly get that reaction, and you didn't even expect it as a result of posting a relatively innocuous graphic about pizza that wasn't directed at anyone in particular, yet someone somehow inexplicably took it that personally, it's like bingo!

So then, sarcastic prick that I am, I changed the group's cover graphic to this plain vanilla one, since all of a sudden after sluts-her-name quit the group everyone got all butthurt and was suddenly offended by everything:

After that, needless to say, everyone finally decided that they had enough of my shit, and they kicked me out of the group and they changed the cover graphic to this:

Oh well.  Guess I kinda had that coming.


  1. Dammit, I just wrote that this was the most brilliant of all your Turkey Troubles installments, but it got lost since I had to sign in to dammed Google.
    So here it is, and don't forget that I'm always right and I never lie, dammit.
    You're fab, Choo,
    Laurel, dammit!

    1. Aww, you're far too kind. Thank you, Laurel.