Friday, April 29, 2016

Get Your Moater Running

This is the sixty-seventh installment of Friday Facebook Foto Fun, where every Friday or so we have some fun with a random comment or picture that someone recently posted, shared or sent me on Facebook.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Maypole Madness!

Had a super fun day on the farm today.  I'm really loving this new maypole!

Treasured Memories

This is fun!

Quest summary

Friday, April 22, 2016

The Crunchiest Burger

This is the sixty-sixth installment of Friday Facebook Foto Fun, where every Friday or so we have some fun with a random comment or picture that someone recently posted, shared or sent me on Facebook.

Friday, April 15, 2016

The Tax Clawditor

This is the sixty-fifth installment of Friday Facebook Foto Fun, where every Friday or so we have some fun with a random comment or picture that someone recently posted, shared or sent me on Facebook.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Feathered Photobomber

This is the sixty-fourth installment of Friday Facebook Foto Fun, where every Friday or so we have some fun with a random comment or picture that someone recently posted, shared or sent me on Facebook.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

FarmVille Fashionista

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
― Gilda Radner

So, I guess I am a "scrapbooker" now.  I never thought that I would ever have occasion to utter those words, as this is a hobby I've never considered taking up before.  Scrapbooking had always struck me as a "girly" thing to do.  But alas, this game never ceases to find new ways to emasculate me with these silly quests week after week, so now I am a man with a scrapbook nook.  Hear me roar.

Fortunately the tasks involved with this quest are more about farming than actual scrapbooking.  No cutting and pasting of cute little pictures is required.  Nonetheless, I've heard nothing but complaints from other players about how difficult this scrapbook thing is.  I swear, even if everything about this game were perfect, we grumpy old FV2 players would still find something to complain about!  It's rare to find a FV2 player anymore who relishes a challenge.  We all seem to want a never-ending flow of free unlimited water and to be granted lavish rewards in exchange for minimal effort.  Where's the fun in that?  What has happened to the FV2 gamer's work ethic?

I must admit, I found the quest a bit daunting myself at first upon being confronted with this screen, but it's really easier than it looks.  You just need to do the regular old farming stuff that you normally do in order to collect the tokens required to progress through the quest and earn the various rewards.  Be sure to post for "chips" daily and click as many as you can from your feed, as these allow you to claim little bonus power-ups that will enable you to e.g., double the tokens you receive for performing certain tasks during a limited period of time, etc.  Those 2X bonuses can really put you ahead quickly if you use them wisely, such as in connection with a level up or co-op bloom.  If you're still confused about how it all works, Zynga has a guide to which you can refer.

The most common complaint I've heard from other players about the scrapbook nook is how many tokens they need to collect in order to earn the grand prize - a baby American Painted horse.  In my case the number of tokens required is 830.  Sure, that is quite a few tokens, and it's certainly not going to happen overnight.  But you have to be patient.  It may indeed take several days for the average player to collect that many tokens, but you will eventually get there if you just keep at it!

As for me, I persevered in my quest and eventually collected enough tokens to win my beautiful new horsey today!  What I didn't anticipate was this delightful bonus reward:  SCRAPBOOK PANTS!  It's what all the fashionable scrapbookers are wearing on the farm these days, so make sure to finish your quest and get yours too!

Modeling my new fashion statement!

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Tequila Hummingbird

“People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for.”
― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

There I was with my bottle of tequila, dancing and celebrating the latest triumph achieved by my awesome co-op!  We had just taken down yet another town!  The sweet tastes of victory and tequila flooded my mouth hole.

When all of a sudden a pop-up appeared before me.  Zynga was rolling out their latest quest, and it appeared to be something that I needed to build.  Something about feeding mockingbirds, I think?  It was hard to tell because I had imbibed so much tequila by this point I was fully inebriated and seeing double!

Yup, I got it built and it appeared to be a mockingbird feeder.  Apparently Zynga thinks that mockingbirds like to drink nectar, but those boneheads got it wrong yet again!  Everyone knows that mockingbirds prefer tequila.  There is even a famous book written about it called, Tequila Mockingbird!  Stupid Zynga!

Therefore I modified my mockingbird feeder to dispense tequila instead of nectar.  The mockingbirds really seemed to be loving this!  Look at them go after it!

Friday, April 1, 2016

The Farming Dead

Dear Diary,
Percy wanted to throw a prank party for April Fool's Day.  So of course he comes to my farm for help like he always does, because his rotten parents, Barbara and Walter, neglect and ignore him.

The kid really gets on my nerves, but I feel sorry for him so I often grudgingly agree to help him out with whatever dumb thing he's planning to do each week.

Unfortunately that means I always end up getting stuck having to build some worthless junk for him, because the poor kid is useless and can't seem to do anything for himself.  The little brat doesn't even help me build any of his crap, he just makes me do all the work and shows up when it's done!

This time I have to build a "Prank Pedestal," which is basically just a fancy table that Percy's going to use to stage crappy pranks on his friends.  It's actually kind of shocking this lame kid has any friends at all.

Maybe that's why all his "friends" look a few years younger than him.  Probably no one his own age wants hang out with him.  Look at this little girl pulling ribbon out of a box.  What a thrilling prank, Percy!  Yawn.  At least for Percy's sake she's still too young to figure out what a dork he is.  Look at his blank, emotionless stare.  I'd swear there's something seriously wrong with that kid.  It's like he's dead behind the eyes or something.  The lights are on, but nobody's home.

Oooh, a jack-in-the box!  Another timeless classic!  Congratulations, Percy, you successfully pranked a five year old girl!  You master prankster, you!  Sure, you placed it facing the wrong way, but we won't mention that.  Wouldn't wanna hurt your feelings.  Meantime, this poor little girl is going to grow up hating her mother for that one time she forced her to play with Percy.

So, here I am, hosting Percy's silly little prank parties when Carlos notices and alerts me to something strange going on behind my back.



Fortunately, Carlos and I are huge fans of The Walking Dead, so we knew exactly how to handle this situation.

I took the knife from the little girl...

 ...and then I went to town on those dirty zombies!

The key to killing zombies is you have to stab or shoot them in the brain.  If you get them in any other part of the body they just keep coming!

Unfortunately, killing zombies can get really, really messy!  Yuck!  Zombie blood everywhere!

The only good zombie is a DEAD zombie!

I thought that was the end of it...

But more zombies were coming!  Wow they moved really fast for zombies.  Aren't zombies supposed to just shamble along?  These zombies were like Olympic sprinter zombies!

Carlos offered to hold them off while I fetched my trusty pitchfork.  I knew he could handle it.  Ever since he got stuck in a hot air balloon over the Chernobyl nuclear reactor that one time, he developed the ability to shoot a laser-like beam from his snood.  It comes in handy when I get a sudden craving for fried chicken.

Carlos easily dispatched those zombies!

Then Percy comes up to me and tells me the zombies weren't real?!  WTF?  

This stupid kid talked my neighbors into dressing and acting like zombies to prank ME at his dumb prank party!

Now all my neighbors are dead because of Percy's silly prank.  See, kids?  Pranking is dangerous!  Don't do it!  It all seems like harmless fun until everyone dies.  Then it's not so fun anymore.

Well needless to say, I had quite enough of this little moron... was time for me to introduce Percy to the flowers.

Well I guess it turns out that Percy was a better prankster than I gave him credit for.  I reckon I might just miss that kid a little bit after all.  Oh well.