Things need to make sense to me. It's just the way I am. And so I became quite befuddled upon unlocking this new crop recently. I just couldn't figure out why this crop would be called "Corn Salad" if it didn't actually have any corn in it.
Sure, I did all the research I could to try and make sense of it. I learned that Valerianella locusta is an edible leaf vegetable best known as mâche, but with many other common names, including corn salad, common cornsalad, lamb's lettuce, fetticus, feldsalat, nut lettuce, field salad and rapunzel.
The latter name is said to be the namesake of the Brothers Grimm tale, "Rapunzel," as the eponymous character is named for the "salad" which her father had come into the sorceress' garden to steal. Fascinating stuff, right? Yawn.
Finally, I learned that the common name I was most curious about, "corn salad," refers to the fact that it often grows as a weed in wheat fields, and that the European term for staple grain is "corn."
Can you believe that crap? Utter nonsense! Not only did this poor vegetable receive the stupidest name ever, it came about in the dumbest way possible - a lazy mistranslation! Well, I simply refuse to accept it. Something had to be done!
Therefore, I teamed up with the world famous Burpee seed company to rectify this egregious misnomer. Not by changing the name to suit the plant -for that would be too easy- but by changing the plant to suit its name!
Behold, our new and improved product:
Isn't it wonderful? It's on sale now and fairly priced, so pick up a packet or two or seventeen from your favorite local reputable seed dealer and start planting! After all, the world could always use more corn products, right?
I had so much fun learning how to create new genetically modified plant hybrids that I've decided to continue producing and marketing new crops now and into the future...
Coming soon, new and improved Lamb's Lettuce, now with real lamb!