Tuesday, April 1, 2014

New Robotic Farmer Proxy for FV2!

t Zynga's FarmVille 2 Research and Development Laboratories, our scientists are working hard to bring the future of farming technology to you today.  Recently we've begun to explore the exciting world of robotic farming, and how such technology might help our farmers be more productive on their farms.  Of course, to get to the end result of something, it helps to start at the beginning.  So we've spent countless hours researching the history of robotics and made some pretty astonishing discoveries in the process.  It turns out that the concept of robots has been around a lot longer than you may have thought!

rehistoric cave drawings have been found, as shown above, which depict fantastical robotic beings far more advanced than technology for the time.  We learned that automated devices which could be put to use to perform tasks at the behest of their human creators have apparently intrigued man since the dawn of mankind!  Some people speculate that ancient alien visitors from other planets were responsible for introducing these ideas to man.  Those people are called weird by their friends and neighbors.

elics of ancient Egypt have also been found which seem to suggest that they too were experimenting with robotics long before originally thought.  This robotic pharaoh dude looks really pissed!

ndeed, even the Greek philosopher Aristotle was known to have frequently discussed his own ideas on the topic of how cool it would be to have his own robot servant.  Around 320 BC he was overheard at a toga party one day to have said, “If every tool, when ordered, or even of its own accord, could do the work that befits it, that would be totally awesome!"

eonardo da Vinci's drawings were even found to contain a depiction of a robotic apparatus which scholars have come to nickname "Androidian Man."  Unfortunately the technology did not exist in da Vinci's time to enable him to bring his concept drawing into existence.  But if it did, and if he had built it, most scholars agree that it would have "totally kicked ass!"

rightening us at times, Hollywood got in on the act to further entrench the notion of futuristic robot beings into our consciousness and culture.  This robot's name is Gort, and believe you me, he means business!

f course, Hollywood has also treated us to endearing depictions of robots who are not bent on world domination, but just content to pick up trash and look for companionship.  Who among us could ever forget the adorable and lovable WALL-E?

ur research wouldn't be complete if we just sat around watching movies all day, although we do a fair bit of that.  We also looked at real-life robotic innovations and found that robotics in the 20th and 21st centuries has advanced so radically as to include machines capable of assembling other machines and even robots that can be mistaken for human beings!  Check out this totally hot robot chick!  Yowza!

ast but not least, we looked at the current state of robotic agriculture, bringing us back full circle to our goal of improving FarmVille 2.  We found robots that can prune vineyards, tend plant nurseries and even herd animals!  Amazing stuff!

o after all that research it was time for us to get started on the development phase.  Two and a half hours later, that phase too is now complete, and we are ready to show you what we came up with.  It is therefore with great pride and excitement that we announce to you today the release of our new Robotic Farmer Proxy for FarmVille 2, now available for purchase!

Now you don't even need to play FarmVille 2 anymore to play FarmVille 2!  Just pay us money and we'll do the rest!

1 comment:

  1. You're a nut, Choo, but don't think I didn't love this episode of Turkey Troubles! LMAO!