Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Do that Choo-Doo that You Do So Well

Sensing that your ravenous appetites for Halloween blog posts have yet to be sated, I have generously assembled another series of recycled old Halloween posts from Facebook which sort of loosely come together to form an incoherent story.

Oddly enough, based on the date stamps of the files on my hard drive, this series of posts occurred sometime in mid-June of 2014, just like PUMPKINHEAD 5: THE FARMVILLE FRIGHTENING did.  Isn't that ironical?

Why would I be celebrating Halloween during the summertime, you ask?  Well I'm not really sure, but I suppose that it may have something to do with my following of the Discordian calendar instead of the, you know, regular one.

It causes me to never quite know exactly what day, month or year everyone else is experiencing, which if you know me, isn't all that problematic.  As long as I can keep track of which day Chaoflux falls on, I'm good.  If you wish to learn more about Chaoflux, please consult your pineal gland.

Anyway, this fun Halloween-style adventure features my dear old friend, Holly. 
On this one fine summer day in particular, Holly gleefully posted on Facebook about how she had ruthlessly slaughtered me upon the conclusion of Free Water Day using a technique that she ironically learned about from my very own definitive and world-renowned Guide to Free Water Day.

Here's a close-up of Holly's lovely montage in case the one above is too hard to see:

So of course I took the bait, as I am wont to do, posting the following pics in reply:

Then Holly posted a few frames of her own in response, and asked her friend Karen not to tell me she had cleverly changed into a male beekeeper to escape my wrath!

But as a Choo-Doo doctor, I have my nefarious ways of making people talk...

At this point Holly and Karen threatened me with their scary battle wiener.

I called my friend Skulletta to help me fight the battle wiener, because I knew she had an awesome dragon.  I lent her one of my Choo-Doo Juju hats and sent her to do battle with Holly's battle wiener.

It was no contest.

The crispy battle wiener was cooked to perfection!

So then Holly & Karen post some bizarre nonsense about digging me up to re-hide my body where no one could ever find it, and Holly posts pictures of a shovel, trash bag and flashlight.  Which, knowing Holly, is actually pretty scary.

But I guess these two masterminds forgot about the part at the beginning where I had already dug myself out of the grave???  So what body are they planning to dig up and relocate, exactly?  The grave is empty, LOL!

Oh well, it was like 4am by this point so I just went along with their blatant continuity error and put our silly little production out of its misery.

Why do these things always seem to end up with my head getting cut off?


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