Tuesday, December 2, 2014

When Will You People Learn?

Here's another example of why you should never, ever, ever, ever, never, ever, ever, nerver, nenver, nevanevanen, nenverinero, nevernev, novenvaun, venvervevree complain to Zynga about anything, ever.


If you read carefully between the lines of this official Zynga player support article, you will find there is actually a hidden message embedded therein.  As a thoughtful gentleman, I have taken the time to painstakingly decipher it for you:

"Aww, was it really so difficult clicking a single button to post for Expansion Maps or Spot Lights, etc.?  Did it actually take a few days to gather everything you needed for the expansion that you couldn't actually afford to buy anyway until nine weeks later?  You poor, whiny little babies.  Well now you get to use all your precious hard-earned favors to acquire your expansions and achieve that pathetic sense of instant gratification for which you so desperately yearn.  Oh, but did we mention that you still have to do the arbitrary crafting requirements?  Yup.  35 Raspberry Cheesecakes and 45 Spicy Cornbreads, please.  Get to work on that; should take you a while.  Happy now, suckers?  Go ahead, complain some more.  We'll just figure out a new way to screw you over, while subtly blaming it on your 'feedback'  and cleverly characterizing it as 'helping you.'  We're Zynga.  Deal with it.  Muhahahaha!"

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