Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Sprout Troop Perishes in Snowstorm!

I was so worried about Percy and the poor little Sprouts when I received this dire notification:

Apparently, Percy and his sprout troop were trapped up on Mount Leghorn with no way back down because of a terrible snowstorm.  The community was expected to band together to rescue them by collecting Survival Kits.

To collect Survival Kits we had to perform some very difficult random tasks, such as harvesting crops, fertilizing trees, posting for stuff, crafting stuff, collecting bait, etc.  You know, the usual crap.

I did my best to collect as many Survival Kits as I could, and I almost completed the quest three times over!  But the quest was plagued by the usual glitches and issues we've come to expect from quests such as this, making it extra frustrating and hard to succeed.

I eagerly monitored the community's progress the whole time as we reached the first goal, and then the second goal.  But I started to become very concerned when, with just 21 hours left to the deadline, we were still short by 92,375,150 Survival Kits in reaching the final goal!  The rescue task seemed insurmountable at this point, and I feared the worst for our intrepid Sprouts.

Yet still, I persevered in this endeavor; not just because I always do my best, but because this time lives were actually at stake!

But the following day I found, with just 5 seconds left in the deadline to reach the final goal and save the Sprouts, we were still 76,003,235 survival kits away from rescuing the poor little bastards!  I feared the worst.  It seemed inevitable at this point...  Percy and his fellow Sprouts would surely perish!

...and perish they did.  I watched in horror as the deadline, and the sprouts themselves, expired!

RIP, little Sprouts.  Not sure why you idiots went camping atop a snowy mountain in the dead of winter, but now you're dead.  So let that be a lesson to ya for next time, dummies!


You may have seen this #FakeNews article that Zynga put out, purporting that "The Sprouts Will Be Home, Soon!"  Yeah, right - in body bags!

Don't fall for this propaganda!  This is a massive cover-up designed by Zynga to dodge responsibility and salvage their tarnished corporate image in the wake of the Sprout tragedy.

Zynga doesn't want us asking the REAL questions.  Like, why were a bunch of preteen Sprouts camping atop Mount Leghorn in the dead of winter, and with no adult supervision?

And if weather conditions permitted a plane to deliver millions of Survival Kits to the Sprouts over a two week period, why couldn't they just be airlifted out of there by rescue choppers?

And why wasn't Ranger Jane called upon to rescue the Sprouts?  She's only capable of rescuing stranded animals?  Pshaw!

Let not our brave Sprouts to have died in vain, friends!  Hold Zynga to account for their role in this horrible incident!  Don't let them get away with it!

Let's all attend their live Q&A tomorrow and confront them!

Well, Zynga tried to put their own positive spin on it of course, but it's nice to see that they've finally acknowledged the fate of the fallen sprouts.  Kudos to them for that!

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