PUMPKINHEAD 5: THE FARMVILLE FRIGHTENING

Lots of people have been calling me up lately and asking, "Hey Choo why don't you do some Halloween stuff for the blog this year?"

So I'm like, "Didn't I do Halloween stuff last year?" 

And they're like, "No, you totally didn't do ANY Halloween stuff last year.  Don't you like Halloween?" 

And I'm like, "Yeah Halloween is OK, I'm just all out of ideas I guess."

So they're like, "Oh I have a great idea!  You should totally do a cartoon like with Carlos pecking your eyeballs out or something!  Everybody loves Carlos the turkey!  He is so funny!"

And I'm like, "That doesn't sound very funny."

And they're like, "It will be hilarious!  Trust me!"

And then I'm like, "Trust you?  I don't even know you!  Who the hell is this?"

And they're like "- CLICK -"

And then I'm like, "Hello?  Hello?  Anyone there?"

And then the operator's recording is all like, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again."

So then I call the cops to report a crank caller, and so they trace the call, and then they're like, 

"THE CALL IS COMING

FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!" 

So then I'm all like...

So anyway, yeah, I don't really have any decent Halloween ideas at the moment so I'm probably just gonna recycle some old Halloween crap I did on Facebook last year.

Like that one time when Walter and Barbara were getting married and we had to help by making wedding sachets and inviting our friends over to trade them for RSVPs?  Remember that one?

Yeah, me neither.

Well one day Cathy Perry invited a bunch of her friends to her wedding table and some graphic glitch caused them all to fuse together into one big orange-headed blob.  So she posted a picture of that on Facebook:

I took a copy of her picture and cleverly added some eyes, a mouth with blood dripping and some text using a very crappy font that is difficult to read and which I will never use again.  

In case you can't tell, it is supposed to say PUMPKINHEAD 5: THE FARMVILLE FRIGHTENING. 

Pretty scary, right?

I guess it was supposed to be like a movie poster or something.  I actually have a vague recollection of looking up Pumpkinhead at Wikipedia to learn there had been four movies in the series, so this is how I knew to call my sequel Pumpkinhead 5.  This is the level of dedication to authenticity that I put into all of my dumb little throwaway FV2 pictures, people!  Crazy, I know.

So then Cathy can't leave well enough alone and just enjoy my little movie poster thingy for what it is, and she posts some weird reply.  I forget what she said since it was a long time ago and apparently I didn't save copies of the original Facebook posts.  But for some reason I then posted a picture of Pumpkinhead trying to entice her by offering her a crop packet.  I have no idea why.

I'm sure it's all irrelevant to the story anyway, since there really is no story.  Just some weird Halloween pics I made last June that I'm sharing with you now because it's October and you want Halloween stuff but this garbage is all I have to offer.

Oh yeah, I remember now.  It's because I wanted Pumpkinhead to kill her.  She was supposed to say "Oooh a crop packet, just what I wanted!  Thank you Pumpkinhead!"  Or something to that effect, at which point I would modify the graphic to depict Pumpkinhead violently murdering her; which although I haven't seen any of the movies, is what I assume that Pumpkinheads do to people.  Especially people like Cathy.

At any rate, it would have been a largely gratifying ending for all, but of course Cathy being Cathy took an unexpected path in this little "Choo's your own adventure game" of mine, and I think she must have started addressing Pumpkinhead directly.

It seems that she must have asked Pumpkinhead where I was or something, even though I was right there posting these pictures on her Facebook wall.  But that must be what happened because in the next picture that I made, Pumpkinhead is holding my severed head and saying, "Choo is right here..."

So in the picture my severed head is saying "this freak took my body," but I don't quite understand or recall why my severed head would be saying that, since clearly he didn't take my body - he took my head.  Some things I do don't make sense even to me.

Oh yeah, I remember now, it's because that was actually my body there in the picture with the pumpkin head on it.  OK, so I guess that makes sense now.

Anyway my severed head is also asking Cathy for help, which is never a good idea.  In fact, if I recall correctly she replied something about giving me an aspirin.  Because everyone knows that aspirin is the best remedy for severed head syndrome, right?

But I guess I just went along with it, because then I made this crappy amazing animated GIF of Pumpkinhead feeding me Tylenols.

Y'all happy now?

Halloweeny enough for ya? 

Yeah I know, it sucked.  These recycled Facebook posts don't seem to translate over to the blog that well, do they?
 
Oh well, maybe the next one will be better.

But probably not.

Happy Halloween month.